Album Update #6

In gratitude | With grace(?)

One of the most important aspects to share with you, because maybe you’ll relate in one way or another, is that this is really hard.

Taking a line from my song, Infatuation:

‘I will try .. to change .. myself … sabotaging style.’

Full disclosure: I almost threw in the towel last week and quit this project altogether. Working these songs with another person, dissecting and rearranging them, laying my soul and voice bare - it’s freakishly new to me. I’m used to building songs in a vacuum of aloneness and, while that is one way to make art, it’s not what these songs need. Frankly, it’s not what I need.

After a lot of confusion; after almost firing my producer for no good reason whatsoever; after some thoughtful quiet time and flawless tarot card pulls; and after a really clarifying and uplifting chat with a friend, I did not pull myself together, but rather let myself stay unraveled, raw, messy, and committed to seeing this record through.

I know I keep writing about my fears. At some point they’ll subside, but that time is not now. The fears are front and center, because this is scary shit. This is a soul project. Part of why I type these updates is to call out my fears, so that they’re not calling the shots. Calling out my fears, calling in my strengths.

Another reason why I write these updates is to stay close to you all.

You celebrate me, this process, my bright side. You see my anxiousness and you relate to me. You soothe me, you heal me, you hold me, and you love me. You see me.

Thank you.

I hope you move into this holiday season knowing how much of an impact you’re making in my life, and I’m sure all the lives that your grace touches. Here’s to grace - whether it be graceful grace or messy grace. The grace that pulls us to find courage, that pushes us closer to our support networks, that energizes our hearts, and grounds us in our divine purpose.

I am strengthened by all of you.

For December, I’ll be taking a break from recording to breathe, ground, strengthen, and imagine. I’ll be hopping back into the studio with vigor and clarity in the new year. I’m looking forward to a period of intentional darkness, and looking forward to what happens after that. Stay tuned!

With heart,

Allison